Artist’s rendering of Bryan Fuller planning the season finale of Hannibal.

Okay, so watching NBC’s Hannibal has never been a tranquil experience. This is a show that revels in beautifully filmed acts of brutality on a weekly basis. It’s set in a world where evil is refined, good is dumb, and everyone’s delicious. Every once and a while, Hugh Dancy and Mads Mikkelsen stare into each other’s eyes.

That’s it. That’s the show.

But that finale…

For those of you that don’t watch or haven’t seen it yet, I don’t want to spoil anything, but it’s been reported charities have been set up to support and counsel those who feel personally victimized by the Hannibal season finale. When asked if he felt guilty about the countless lives he’d ruined, Hannibal show runner Bryan Fuller reportedly tore the head off a small bird with his teeth and pledged his undying allegiance to Satan.*

^{* May not actually have happened.}

It’s a long, hard wait until Season 3 (thank the gods, both old and new, that there is a Season 3), but in the meantime I’ve been staving off the post-finale jitters by trawling through Etsy.

Check out what I’ve found after the jump.

1. This Creepy Wendigo Mini Bust

I’m not 100% sure why I want to own something that so obviously wants to murder me in my sleep, but I do. This terrifying sculpture — available from RedCapStore on Etsy — is one-of-a-kind and ships from Argentina, a country apparently known for its booming collectible wendigo bust industry.If you’re not interested in having your soul overtaken by a humanoid nightmare stag, the same artist also sells a Will Graham art doll that looks a little like Peter Dinklage.

2. This Hand-Painted Hannibal Lecter Mug

Okay, I’ll grant you, $30 bucks is a lot for a mug, whatever’s been slapped on the side, but this large hand-painted coffee mug — available from HennaKatowice on Etsy — is too hauntingly beautiful for me to resist. It’s dishwasher safe and probably won’t encourage you to murder people for its own amusement, but I make no guarantees.If trusting a known cannibal with your coffee in the morning isn’t your style, the same artist also sells a mug featuring Will Graham and his little flower crown.

3. This Crochet Alana Bloom Doll

I’ll admit, I’m not normally a huge fan of crochet. As a knitter, I believe that hooks are tools for rescuing dropped stitches and, where necessary, augmenting the limbs of pirates. Still, this doll — available from LegionDolls on Etsy — manages the unthinkable — to actually look like Alana Bloom, complete with perfect hair and cheeks flushed from yelling at Jack Crawford.If you want to round out the rest of the set, Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham and Abigail Hobbs are available as well.

4. This Adorable Yet Terrifying Chibi Ravenstag

Don’t get me wrong, this little nightmare — available from EatToast on Etsy — is expensive, but one look at the craftsmanship on the feathers and the stunning, shimmering blue of the paint job and you can see why. He’s 7″ tall, has a head that moves, and won’t haunt your dreams, resulting in savage, otherworldly visions.Probably.

5. This Will Graham and Hannibal Lecter Art Print

There is a lot of gorgeous Hannibal fan artwork on Etsy, but of everything this signed art print by the immensely talented Megan Lara (how is this woman only 25 years old?) — available from her shop MeganLaraArt on Etsy — is my favourite.Even better, over at DesignByHumans.com, it’s also available as a t-shirt.

6. This Quotable Stag Cellphone Case

From the website description, this hand-printed cellphone case — obtainable from FeerieDoll on Etsy — is available for just about every phone and tablet model under the sun.** I’m not surprised. FeerieDoll’s Etsy store is huge, selling everything from fannish handbags and wallets to t-shirts, pillows, and dog tags.The cellphone case is shipped from Krakow, Poland, so there’s a chance it will travel further in its lifetime than you will. Expect travel delays. ** I may be exaggerating. Slightly.

7. This Cute Will Graham Necklace

This little cutie commemorating my Hannibal OTP Will Graham/adequate medical care — available from LaPetiteMortt on Etsy — is made from shrink plastic, so he doesn’t have a lot of substance, but can you say no to that face? Because I sure can’t.If you don’t feel like wearing him as a necklace, he’d also make an adorable, slightly unstable Christmas ornament.

So, what do you guys think? Feel any better? No? Me neither.

Somebody hold me and/or ruthlessly critique my taste in stag merchandise in the comments.